Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the rumors, now here’s the real me. Unknown
How often have we heard someone say, “If they knew the truth about me, they wouldn’t like me.” Showing ourselves to others as we really are is the ultimate act of transparency. Being transparent to others is avoiding masks, false fronts and fake identities. Stop and consider what you hide from your friends and family; your faults and weaknesses lest you be thought less of; your fears lest you be vulnerable; your love lest it not be returned; your anger lest you be rejected. We hide from others the parts we think others will not like because we do not like them.
I stop and reflect on the nearly 45 years I spent in hiding. My addictive life was spent as a chameleon. Every day I would figure out who and what you wanted me to be and I would devote all of my energy to pleasing you by becoming that person. I would be successful for a day or two and then you would want be to be or do something else and I would immediately leap into action to change and become what you were seeking at that moment.
Sound tiring? It was exhausting! It was so tiring and frustrating that it gave me fodder to blame you for all my problems. It was clear to my addicts mind that you were the problem. If only you would figure our, once and for all, what it was that you were seeking, I could lock my self in and all would be okay. NOT!!!!!!
It was only when I surrendered to my addictions that I learned that all the years I had spent becoming who you you thought I should be, was an act of huge proportion and not a very good one at that. I came to see that the real me was not inside you, but rather inside me. I was so removed and disconnected from me that I had no clue who I was and what was important to me.
With your love, patience and tolerance, I learned, one day at a time and today am very clear as to who the “real” me is. I like the man I have and continue to become. Some of you out there like the “real” me and some don’t. That is A-OK with me. I no longer rely on you to feel good about me. I no longer awaken wanting to know who I would be this day as I now have a Higher Power/God (whatever that means) that has helped me find the “real” me and know that I am loved just as I am.
Feelings, vulnerability, tears, not knowing, flaws and imperfections were all parts of me that I hated and perceived as weaknesses. Today they are the foundation of my strengths as a sober man. As a Rabbi, Addiction Counselor and Coach, I have helped countless people find the “real” person inside them so they could feel the freedom I do knowing me as I am and not as you would have me.
My prayer for you today is that you become transparent and let us all know all your wonderful parts and love you as you are.
I am a modern and independent South Florida Sober Rabbi with an MSW Degree and 23+ years of sobriety providing Sober Coaching and Addiction/Spiritual Counseling focusing on energizing, affirming, motivating, healing, spiritual guidance and personalized life cycle events.
If you, a family member or friend are suffering, call me at 954-755-3764 to get the help you deserve.
I can help you!
Hugs and blessings for a joyous day!