The Ten Most Frequently Asked Question by Family Members
- Is it my fault? Simply stated, the answer is NO. No parent is perfect, but neither is every child. Every addict, regardless of the addiction is ultimately responsible for the choices they make.
- Why do I feel so guilty? Most parents feel guilty. That is a natural feeling for a parent to have when their child has an addiction. I know that you believe there is something else you could have done to prevent this from happening. Most often, there is not.
- What can I do to prevent my other children from ending up the same way? This is a great question as it goes to the heart of the fact that addiction is a family disease. What you can do is start treatment for your family without the addict. My experience is that when a family takes back their power from the addict, the entire family renews their quality of family life and any other children get the help they require.
- What are my options to help my loved one? There are many. There is no one method that works for everyone. I will meet with you and together we will design an approach that is best for the addict and the family.
- What do I do if they have already gone to rehab and continually relapse? Relapse is a core element of the disease of addiction. It is very common. Your choices can change depending on the individual circumstances of your addict. We will explore what you have done, what happened and what other options are available.
- Am I a bad parent if I throw my hands up and say, I have had it? Absolutely not. I will help you see that your willingness to help does not translate into the addict choosing to get well. You are powerless to make them do anything. I counsel many families to help them heal from the pain of powerlessness.
- Should I continue to support the addict financially? As a rule, I advise against this as once the addict knows they can act out without real consequences, their incentive to get well diminishes.
- Why can’t they just stop? Through education and counseling, I will help you understand that will power does not work. Most addicts would like to “just” stop, but they cannot as the chemical dependency is overpowering and disabling.
- Can my Priest, Rabbi, Imam, Pastor, Reverend, etc. help them? Can they? Sometimes they are helpful to the addict, but most times, not. They might help you if you identify with your religion and trust the clergy person in question. Prayer is helpful if you believe that it can be. This is a difficult path as frequently, if we do not get the answer we are seeking, quickly, we get angry and build resentment toward God and the Clergy in question.
- In the final analysis, what are the few things I can do to cope with this challenge? Always let your sick loved one know that you love them even when you set boundaries that anger them. Do not ever lose hope and call me today to get the help you need to heal your pain and help your addict. There is a solution and it starts with you choosing to make that first call.
Rabbi Mitch is a modern and independent South Florida Sober Rabbi with an MSW Degree and 23+ years of sobriety providing Sober Coaching and Addiction/Spiritual Counseling focusing on energizing, affirming, motivating, healing, spiritual guidance and personalized life cycle events.
If you, a family member or friend are suffering, call me at 954-755-3764 or email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org to get the help you deserve. Please visit me at www.addictioncounselingwithrabbimitch.com for further information about my services.
I can and will help you! Pick up the phone and call me today for your Complimentary Consultation and start your journey to happiness, freedom and joy.